5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
