I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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