he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
