my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
