guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
