the new term for farting is butt boxing.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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