Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
