the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize