She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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