I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
pray to the hookup gods
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
