It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
