A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
