I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I touched a dick in church today
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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