today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
