fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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