Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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