I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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