Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
