So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
