plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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