Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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