i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
