just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
