how can u be prego again
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
