Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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