just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
two words...techno handjob
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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