Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize