and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize