do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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