How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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