Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There are leaves in my underwear?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
