I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
