I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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