dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
