He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You've changed since you got that strap on
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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