i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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