Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
