Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
