Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
