She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
