Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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