Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
