: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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