i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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