I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
