Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
