no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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