She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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