No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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