think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
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