You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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