I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
