I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
