There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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