If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
