So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
