Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
