I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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